snacking on clouds

am I taller ...

I wrote this poem Thursday afternoon. I am suffering from insomnia or whatever they call it when you have a hard time falling asleep, can only sleep for 3-5 hours, and then when you wake up, you can’t fall back asleep.

I am so sleep deprived after more than 3 weeks of this that I am walking around feeling very strange, almost high, and ready to fall asleep at any moment. I can get like little micro-sleeps, but not a long stretch. I’m not sure what’s causing this, but it may be a withdrawal reaction from a medication I have ceased taking, all under the supervision of a doctor.

As I write this, I am prepping to try a bunch of herbal and mineral sleep aids in effort to knock myself out and get a better night of sleep. I have plenty of support, and I’ll make it through whatever this is I’m sure.

This experience inspired a trippy little poem.

—

snacking on clouds
by Katie Anne Jamieson

am I taller?
or am I holding my head
up
higher and higher?
confidence?

the home improvement store
is absurdly large,
the ceiling so expansive;
have I ever looked at the ceiling here
on my countless visits?

in the ladies’ bathroom,
I can see right over the stalls,

at home, I can see the sticks and moss
on my roof,

Wow! now I am seeing the tops of trees
and the birds’ great and powerful V
from god’s POV

Oh!
I am opening my mouth
for clouds to drift in,
they taste of dust and sun and
volcanic ash;

surely I could knock that goddamned plane
from the sky with my
furry orange paws—
orange? am I a giant ginger cat?
am I higher than ever?
am I taller?
am I flying? A flying ginger cat?

or is it this string of endless
effervescent days,
sleeplessness
inflating my head
helium
distorting my perception
delivering me up and up
to the angels of unrest
a kind of hellish heaven
soil-dusted clouds filling my belly

—

I’d love to hear from you. I want to know what you think. Did you like this poem? Did any part of it resonate with you? Let me know.